Kata orang “teman” itu berpengaruh pada kita ternyata bukan isapan jempol. Kata islam sendiri “berhati-hatilah dalam memilih temanmu” baru sekarang terasa benarnya. Paling tidak buat saya.
Ada teman2 yang bicaranya “mendinginkan”, ada yang malah jadi “kompor”. Alih2 jadi tenang hati, malah jadi bete gak ketulungan. Teman2 yang selalu berpikiran jelek, berprasangka buruk dan selalu meraup negatif aura malah bikin hati “silau”, sementara teman2 yang berpikiran positif, membangun harapan, dan selalu berprasangka baik, sejujurnya malah menambah kepercayaan diri.
Sesungguhnya gak berlaku pada teman2 saja, tapi juga orang2 yang ada disekeliling kita. Ntah itu orangtua kita sendiri, mertua, suami atau anak atau saudara.
Saya sendiri berhenti berprasangka karena berprasangka itu menguras energi, buang2 waktu, dan sok tau banget rasanya. Jadi bukannya saya tak pernah melakukan itu.
Dan pikiran ini masuk ketika saya meluncurkan lempeng panas strikaan ke atas kain kusut…:
Saya adalah seseorang. Ketika Allah menciptakan saya, kira2 apa yang Allah pikirkan tentang siapa saya, seperti apa saya, tujuan apa saya diciptakan? apa yang DIA harapkan untuk saya lakukan? apa misi saya? Bukankah semua pertanyaan2 itu mengawali penciptaan saya? Sementara saya hanya merasa: untuk apa saya diciptakan??? Kenapa saya tak langsung dikirim ke surga atau tak langsung dikirim ke neraka?
Pastinya ada esensi hidup yang menjadi misi saya ketika tangan Tuhan menciptakan saya sebagai saya. Saya sebagai sesuatu yang tentunya ada nilai nya dalam hidup ini karena Allah tak pernah menciptakan sesuatu yang tak ada gunanya.
Betapa Allah sedekat urat nadi dengan saya, betapa Allah mengirimkan dua malaikatNya setiap saat untuk menjaga saya. Betapa Allah membiarkan saya berdosa lalu menarik saya kembali kejalan yang benar hanya supaya saya “BELAJAR” sesuatu. Dan begitu banyak penjagaan2 dan ilmu2 yang ALLAH beri pada saya atas tujuan apa? Bukankah saya sesuatu? Ada harapanNYA pada penciptaan saya? Dan apa saya telah memenuhi harapan itu???
Dan yang terpenting adalah; tujuan penciptaan saya untuk orang2 disekitar saya. Apa? haruskah seperti beringin yang meneduhkan atau kompor yang memanaskan?
Pengalaman mengajarkan, negatif thinking, celaan, hinaan, hujatan, dan prasangka itu adalah penyakit2 mental yang hanya akan membinasakan jiwa. Dan saya telah mengalaminya. Me-nga-la-mi nya.
Ini menjawab kenapa saya sebegitu bencinya pada orang2 yang melingkupi jiwa dan pikirannya dengan aura2 negatif. Begitu tak sukanya ….! sangat tak suka!
Itu sama saja dengan membully diri sendiri tanpa disadari….. am I rite?
Dan ini beberapa cuplikan nasehat dari guru spiritual saya, my very best friend…. #adem
Mufti Ismail Menk
-Be a friend who lights up the lives of others. Give them hope and make them feel worth it. We are all special to the Almighty.
-Never let anyone or anything make you lose hope in the Mercy of your Maker.
-The worst of humankind is he who is two-faced. He shows his different sides to different people. Be sincere.
-People are generally good but Satan is bad. The further we distance ourselves from him, the greater our chance of success.
-Allowing others to disagree with your point of view and not get all emotional about it is a sign of maturity.
-To prove a point, there is no need to scream or hurl abuse. Most of those who do so, either have no point to prove or are wrong.
Be intelligent enough not to let those who try to create hatred between us and those we have no problem with, succeed.
If they have a dirty heart, well at least I know that I try to keep my own heart as clean as possible.
I refuse to judge you based on your sin because it can be wiped out in a flash. I’d rather search for the good you’ve done and appreciate it.
A positive attitude makes a very big difference and it is one of the main ingredients of growth and success.
Doubt and suspicion can be very self destructive, inflicting unnecessary pain upon oneslef and others too. It is YOU who can change that.
It is sad to see people create division by chiselling through minor cracks, when they could have made an effort to bring people together.
Using the excuse of religion to harm others, to be unkind, unjust and oppressive is unacceptable. Such people are not religious.
If we are prepared to communicate with one another, we will realise that in most cases our differences are minor, but arrogance prevents us.
If we’re not mindful of the fact that we’re living in an age of electonically assisted rumour, slander and gossip, we can get sucked in too.
Accusing others of what they are not guilty of is a grave sin that definitely returns to haunt us at some stage so be extremely cautious.
Clean environment, clean body, clean mind, clean dealings, clean in worship, clean friends and clean fun. Cleanliness in everything.
Those who lie will easily believe a lie and find it difficult to accept the truth whereas those who are truthful will easily recognise the truth and find it difficult to believe a lie.
Slander, accusation and rumour spreading are some of the most serious sins than have never gone unpunished.
There can be more than one way of doing things. A difference of opinion shouldn’t create hatred amongst us.
If the Almighty has prohibited losing hope in His Mercy, then NEVER allow yourself to be affected by those who make you feel hopeless.
Bitterness & grudges cause diseases of the heart, both physical & spiritual and affect the mind & body too.
Why are we so quick to forward false messages without verifying yet we delay in spreading the truth at times?
Children make silly mistakes. It’s a part of growing up. Our duty is to help them out of their mess in a way that they shine forever!
Most children who have been assisted positively after falling, become much stronger, standing high above others due to the real life learning experience they’ve had.
But when adults make silly mistakes, although we should be helping them out of their mess too, it is much more difficult.
My heart is too valuable to allow hatred & jealousy to rent a spot.
Small minded people believe their success depends on how well they attack those doing the work & accuse them, yet they have no beneficial contribution themselves.
True leaders concentrate on positively & tirelessly benefiting humanity whilst others have nothing better to do than sit on the sidelines & keep attacking.
Your success is not dependent on the failure of others so leave them alone.
Your success depends on how hard you work to serve humanity for the Pleasure of the Almighty.
As you climb the mountain, be focused & don’t be distracted by those beneath throwing stones at you.
Whilst some are busy using their candle to light countless candles, others are trapped in their belief that their candle will only shine if they blow out the rest.
People let us down but the Almighty never let’s us down. To lead a better life, rely on Him rather than them.
Not everybody is on the same level of piety & none of us can claim to be holier than the other.
Whilst some are working very hard to improve their clothing & appearance others are working equally hard to improve their faith & character.
Some focus on rectifying visible weaknesses yet others have overtaken them through rectifying hidden weaknesses.
The winners are those who can work hard to improve both simultaneously.
Some improve very quickly initially & lose focus later on whilst others improve slowly & quietly, overtaking those who continue to think they are astray.
Never let Satan make us feel that others are astray unless they move at our pace & start by rectifying what we found easy to rectify in our lives.
Be careful what you think of others for their link with the Almighty could be much stronger than ours.
Let’s pray for each other rather than against each other, and focus on our weaknesses, both hidden & apparent.
Having good friends is better than having no friends.
Having no friends is better than having bad friends.
Beyond that is self destruction.
They insult our Prophet with the things that they say but we insult our Prophet by not following his way.
Six rules of happiness:
1. Don’t hate others simply because they have wronged you.
2. Combat worry by having hope in the Almighty and praying excessively.
3. Live simply no matter how high your status may rise.
4. Expect goodness no matter how many tests you may face.
5. Be generous even if you feel a slight loss.
6. Smile, even if your heart may be sad.
Jumping to negative conclusions when anything is said or done by others is not only a sin, but a very bad disease.
It creates problems & mistrust from non-existent matters. It makes a person habitually think that whatever others do or say is for a bad reason rather than a good one.
This adds absolutely unnecessary tension in peoples lives & destroys good relations.
The innocent are made to look guilty & even if they try to explain, it is brushed aside. Satan enjoys this thoroughly.
Let us make sure that WE have positive thoughts of others and draw the best of conclusions when they say or do something!
In this way we will achieve purity, contentment and the Pleasure of the Almighty.
Some people believe we must not be good or kind to those of other faiths. This is a serious mistake. It is our duty to ensure that all human beings be treated fairly with kindness, genuineness and goodness. It is also important that we be just and side with he who is correct even if he does not belong to our faith. Justice and kindness result in portaying the true image of who we are and the values we stand for. Those who believe that we should side with a family member, relative, friend, fellow worshipper, colleague etc even when he is wrong have not understood the basic values and morals taught by the Almighty. May our actions always be in line with whatever pleases the Almighty. Aameen.
Those who are jealous of others are contesting the Decision of the Almighty, dropping their faith to a very low level. The Almighty is the sole Decider as to who will have what amount in terms of wealth, health, knowledge, beauty, intelect, wisdom, contentment, success in every aspect of life etc. Nobody has a say in this Divine Decree! So when others are jealous of us, they are upset with the Almighty’s Decision & have primarily declared war against Him before their enmity with us. What type of success would such a person expect in his or her own life?This is why we have been warned of the detrimental nature of the damage caused by jealousy to our faith to begin with, to our other good deeds which are eaten away as a result & then to our overall well being. It never pays to be jealous of others in any way. May the Almighty protect us from this dangerous disease. Aameen
Stubbornness & firmness are confused by many. When a person holds on to a point that is baseless, an argument that is wrong, a position he is not fit for, a statement that is incorrect, a principle that is flawed, an opinion that has no negative effect if given up etc, he could rightfully be called stubborn! However the one who is firm upon justice, upright upon valid principles, holds fast to what is correct, sticks to great values & morals etc, but still respects others is indeed praiseworthy!
Not verifying information thoroughly before accepting it can make enemies out of true friends, friends out of dangerous enemies, distance the most genuine of people, result in great loss whilst believing we are winning & cause much destruction, untold pain&suffering not only to us, but our families, communities & even nations! We seem to be living in an era of people who enjoy rumour, gossip, slander, tales & calculated mischief which entrap even those we consider good or pious! Let’s take heed!
At times we display much passion to solve the world’s problems pretending to be champions of the cause of the oppressed, yet we are oppressing our own family members, those whom we interact with & many more around us! How will we solve global issues when we refuse to address matters within us that glare us in the face daily. This is why the Almighty says the condition of a nation can only improve if each individual resolves to improve! Solve your own issues first & see the difference!