As I remember, I never have any wish of these circumtenses now. Never ever. But who am I? I am not the one who has a magic stick to make my wishes come true, rite? I dont have such a power.

But I have faith that whatever happen, it was for my own good. God never means bad. HE Knows what I need, and HE decides what I should do to get what I need. HE THE ONE Who knows what best for me. I really do hope HE’ll choose me among those who enter jannah and these are all I need to fullfill the requirement.

This isn’t easy for me to get thru, but life is full of struggles to get what I need and I want too ; jannah. Everyday is struggle, and it will always be. Every minute is struggle and the struggle comes from every direction, thought, act, eyes, hands, mouth, ears, brain, etc..etc and … (this is the most difficult struggle) HEART.

It comes to me sometimes, a thought, that all the problems we face are not real. The problem is made as a trial. With it, we can get lesson and become a better person or we ignore the lesson and become worst. But you know what, since I think good about GOD intention to me, I feel HE guides me everytime I come back to HIM and make a repentence.

Sometimes in my lowest position of imaan, I such a scream to HIM asking for a justice that I am HIS creature who never have power at all to my life and soul, except HIM, but why HE let me do sins??? Why dont HE prevent me from doing sins?

But you know what, aren’t we being given an intelectual to distinguish good and bad, true and false, etc..etc? If I want HIM to make me clean from sins, then I would be created as an angel. But I was created as a human. Human is made to do sins so that human can repent. Angels can not repent, that is why they are created as holy creatures. Do you follow me? Could you see the “JUSTICE” HE makes between human and angels? This is the answer from the justice I ask for….

HE gives us the DOOR to wash our sins, and that door is repentence. Do repentence and stop doing sins.

So, if there is a “repentence”, there is a condition created to meet our needs (that most of them are beyond our knowledge), and there is a circumtences created to prevent you from doing the same sins over and over again or to prevent you from the tempting to do sins again (so that HE accepts your repentence, forgives you and even helps you) …. arent those all good for you???

Why sad then?

Why should your wishes all come true if would not make you among those who enter jannah? are you prefer this wordly immortal fortune than that long lasting mortal fortune of jannah?

Why sad then?

Finally sad for my stupidity , and never again, sad about HIS qada and qadar….

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“Allah never changes a condition of a people unless they strive to change themselves”

(QS : 13:11)

(Never wish your condition would be changed, if you did not want to change yourself)